I just spat my water out
This misogynistic douchebag I used to call a “friend” lost my number so I did a thing.
A very good thing.
This is actually fairly clever and harmless.
It’s totes something I’d do.
shoutout to all the other ex-gifted & talented/honor student/straight a/senior editor/star student/99th percentile/once-creative burn-outs who have, since high school, realized they are truly miniscule fish in a giant, endless ocean, criticized themselves to the point of creative paralysis, and participated in so much self-sabotage they no longer see the point of doing anything at all because they’re just going to ruin it for themselves anyway
this one’s for you
#GirlsCan: Women Empowerment | COVERGIRL | Girls can’t? Yes, they can. Rap, be funny, be off-the-wall, rock, be strong, run the show, make the world a little more easy, breezy and beautiful.
Happy International Women’s Day!
I’m so glad my friends are used to me texting them things like “I really wanted to send you a pic of my boobs this morning because my bra’s so cute.”
Basically. By that point we’ll already be old marrieds.
My OTP makes me go from “Oh my God, they are so cute" to "SLAM THAT BITCH AGAINST A WALL AND FUCK HIM UNTIL HE BEGS FOR MERCY”
you know what i think you need
a shark wearing a maids outfit
i just said “wow it’s a sharkmeido” and i got yelled at.
GUESS WHO’S OVER HER TWENTY POUND GOAL!
I dreamt that whatstheproblembaby and I were watching Glee together and for some reason they were on a beach. Jen and I knew this was going to happen because we saw spoilers of it (naturally). So we saw tons of characters relaxing and some we’re arguing (Tina with a guy from Teen Wolf shhh). BUT then this Klaine scene shows up. Kurt’s in a hole in the sand about waist deep. He made a little chair and Blaine starts joking with him about it. Suddenly there’s a short drum beat and you hear a high pitch voice shout “penis” and then my dream basically turned into some LSD moment. If you honestly want to know what happened next I’ll tell you, but dream!Jen(the other Jen) said “Holy shit that’s Colfer’s dick” so I think you get the picture.
a man walks into a zoo. the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. it’s a shitzu
this is literally my favourite joke ever
I feel like this is what Jen is gonna look like when she’s older. Also I really like this article.
How to use “and” 5 times in a row grammatically:
A man owned a store called “This And That” and hired another man to make a sign for it. When it was finished the owner inspected the work. He discovered that the spaces were wrong so he said “the space between This and And and And and That is different. Please fix it”
IM SO ANGRY